Some "friendly" reminders for INTERVIEWERS

Just so we are clear on any definitions:
An interview is a conversation between two people (the interviewer and the interviewee) where questions are asked by the interviewer to obtain information from the interviewee.
An interviewer  is a person who conducts an interview.
An interviewee is a person who is interviewed.
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1. Please arrive on time to your scheduled interview. It looks bad for the interviewee when they arrive late however, it seems to be "acceptable" if the interviewer is late to the appointed time they delegated for the meeting. Please respect the time of others.

2. Please start an interview explaining or giving the job description. Interviewees would LOVE if they understood what the position was so they could honestly tell you if it would be a good fit. Most interviewers start off firing questions without explaining what they are seeking. How is one supposed to know what is expected of them if they are never told? Just a thought...

3. Please dress up for the interview. While the interviewee is usually aware that the company is "business casual" or just "casual", we still take the time to give you an awesome first impression by wearing the one and only "good Easter suit", please return the favor. You have your interviewee sweating buckets of sweat sitting there in a too tight suit while you are conducting an interview in a jogging suit. Yea...about that.....

4. Please be prepared for the interview. If the interviewee (who is usually going on more than one interview during a timeframe) can research and prepare, why should you come to an interview unprepared? At least spend 15 minutes BEFORE THE SCHEDULED appointment time reviewing their resume, forming questions, determining what you skills you are seeking, quality of employee you need for your operations, and the hiring process.

5. Have a conversation with the interviewee. This is an opportunity for you to talk about your company, company culture, job description and explain to the interviewee why they should desire to work for your company, what sets you aside from others in your industry, why you seek such a qualified candidate, etc

6. I never thought I'd have to say this but BE HONEST. Be honest with hours of operation, pay, job duties, etc. Why lie to convince someone to make a drastic life change and then get them hired to disappoint them and increase your chances of turnover? Set realistic expectations.

7. Let's not list positions on internet job boards if you A) Never hire from that site or B) the interviewee has to go thru a specific temp agency. Nothing more frustrating than seeing a job that you've applied for been open for the last 10 years. Either take the job down or go directly thru the temp agency. No need to dangle a carrot in front of the job seeker. They assume that since it's a job website, you're offering a job and will hire from the applicants who apply.

8. When inviting interviewees back for 2nd and 3rd round of interviews, can you include a line in that wonderful rejection letter that explains WHY they didn't get the job or some areas of improvement? They just spent a min of 3-5 hours with your company. I'm sure you could assist them with that small favor.

9. And last but not least, what is this game of "I'm not going to tell you what the salary range is but I want to lowball you so I want your expectations."? So, let me get this straight...You didn't tell me anything about the job or the position, going from your elaborate description my skills match yet you reject my salary range? Where did we go wrong? How about a new game of "Be upfront and say 'Here is the range of this position. Is that within your salary range? Is that workable for you?" No interviewee wants to play The Salary Tug of War. Trust me.

Most people seeking a job are usually spending full time hours trying to find the right job. All they would like is the mutual respect and nice impression that they try to convey to your company when they arrive to interview with your company. Another thing to remember is, alot of times, these interviewees are either your customers OR friends of your customers. Probably not a good idea give a bad customer experience....unless you're not in the customer service industry. Just some random thoughts....

Elle Varner's "Perfectly Imperfect"

I just remembered that I was supposed to do a review of Elle Varner's cd "Perfectly Imperfect." So, never mind the title was one of the titles that I almost named my blog...So LOVE the title. Can I keep it real with ya'll? Elle Varner's cd makes me want to fall in love AND STAY IN LOVE forever and ever. Yep. Of course, ya'll know that I've always loved "Refill" but she has so many songs on there that speak to me. Let's discuss "Sound Proof Room"...well, do we really need to? Lol, it reminds me of "Daydreaming and I'm thinking of you." Mostly because she's just saying what she would do IF she ever got him alone. And of course, I've loved "Only Wanna Give it to You." Ladies, how many times have you seen that guy that you'd be perfectly happy with. Just him. Then you have "I Don't Care" and "Not Tonight"...I think I enjoy it so much because I completely relate. As social and outgoing as I am, the thought of approaching a man that I'm interested in is somewhat intimidating. That's probably why I "friendzone" alot of men who aren't bold enough to approach me. I don't do it purposely, it's sometimes safer and if he isn't the kind to pull me out of my shell, then that's where he goes. #Honest. Then there is "Leaf" such a simple, carefree beat and her voice is so sultry. I instantly start swaying when I hear this song. I love how this song talks about standing by and being there for her man. "Lighter than a leaf in your pocket, I will be there." Classic. And let's not forget the social butterfly and Ms. Life of the Party I am, so of course, "Oh What a Night" speaks to me. I am not a drinker but I imagine this is probably what I would say if I was. LOL. Now, "Stop the Clock" = been there, done that. "If you're looking for me I'm the stupid girl, with a joyless smile in her own sad world. Walking nowhere all alone without a sense of time on a cold dark street on a cold dark night, sayin This will be the last time. I will let you keep me on sideline. They say insanity is doing all the same things. And thinking that you're gonna get a different ending." I know I've been there and a few of my girlfriends have. Completely relate to it. And of course, one of my favs, "Welcome Home" discusses how all she needed was that man who was her man, lover and best friend who accepted her and her flaws and remind her Welcome Home. All she ever needed was love. Isn't that what we all need? Then there's "Damn Good Friends" that speaks to that situation where you want more but he's cool with being friends. And she closes it out with "So Fly" where she says "I can't help being depressed when I look down at my chest. Oh yes, my chest it might as well be nonexistent. How can I ever compete With 34 double D's? And I'm rollin my eyes when I look down at my thighs. They might as well tape everything that I eat to my legs. I am too broke for the knife, too lazy to excercise. But if I had hazel eyes, maybe I could be fly." Totally puts things in perspective, huh?

I LOVE this cd. It embodies femininity yet adds that special little quirk that most of us have. I completely relate to it. Matter of fact, I think she grabbed some of these words out of my head because I KNOW some of these have to be my thoughts ;-). The other thing I love is the passion behind the lyrics. You actually believe that these are her thoughts to MY, excuse me, her real life lyrics. I love it when I get this much emotion and feeling out of a cd. Anyway, I love the cd and can completely relate and pretty sure I've lived a few of those moments in my life. Enjoy it....

Opening up...

Let's see....

Have you ever been hurt that the blur of your tears offered no solace for the breaking of your heart? They say that you can only feel pain in one area...I disagree. When my heart broke, my mind and logic hurt as well. And if we are being completely honest, my soul cried out louder than the sound of my breaking heart.

You ever look into the eyes of someone you truly loved with all your being and know with all your intellect that they were lying to you while hoping in your heart you could find an excuse to say they are telling the truth?

You ever wonder what "that life" would have been like?

You ever look at your life and feel like a humongous failure? Did you ever look at your life and wonder how you got there? Did you retrace your steps and feel lost on how someone once so driven and ambitious could feel like a loser?

You ever feel like you can't be where you should be in life? You ever feel like you have all these good intentions but they don't land you where you dream you should be? 

Have you ever tried to be a "good and open" person just to be used by someone who you believed wouldn't hurt you or use you?

Have you ever had to go hungry? Ever been without? Ever lost a job? Ever lost a best friend, lover or family member?

You ever look at your body and hate that despite your efforts, you just can't get that look you want?

You ever see that guy/girl you want so bad and have that opportunity with them only to find out that they don't want you like that? You ever just want to be with someone b/c you are tired of being alone? Tired of being lonely and upset about the ones that do approach you?

What was YOUR lowest point?

In my deepest of hurts, I felt alone. I felt lonely and I felt hurt. I felt cheated. I felt like screaming "Why me?!!!!?!!!" while carrying a smile and putting on my brave big girl face. I have felt like having a breakdown but get a call from a friend who is hurting so I wiped my tears and scheduled my breakdown for another time.

I've been the superwoman. I've been the friend/lover/partner that everyone could rely on. But, there were times that I wondered who would motivate me while I've been busy motivating and encouraging others. Who would be my oasis while I provide that solace to those close to me. Who would be there for me and allow me to be vulnerable? Intimate? Open? Trusting? Who?

And for a while, I tried to fill this void with who I was in love with. I tried to make one person be my oasis. But, one thing I had to learn is that people will disappoint you. Not always because they want to but just because, they can't be everything you need or want. They probably have their own issues. Or maybe in this wonderful age of technology, the call didn't go thru and they didn't know you were crying out. Whatever it is, as humans, we are not perfect.

This year I've decided to walk closer in my spiritual relationship with God. Am I perfect? Nope. Do I still mess up? Yes, daily. But I get up every day and I try again and again. And for someone who always desired to be Miss Perfect, that's a big step for me.

I don't have all the answers and for once in my life, I'm not searching for all of them. The past few months for me have been some of the most trying months of my life. But one thing that I finally started to believe in and rely on was my faith. I've always believed in faith but I've actually had to "activate my faith" as most would say. It became more than a thought or words that you just merely say...it became an action and a guide for my life. I'm thankful for my relationship with God. I'm thankful that in my darkest hours of my life, I have someone to turn to...Someone who will just listen to me cry late at night. Someone who won't judge me for smiling during the day and crying when I'm alone. I'm thankful for the comfort I receive. I'm thankful.

And because I'm thankful and realize that I now have to take steps into the right direction, I've decided that I have to make some adult decisions. I have to not only believe I deserve better in all areas of my life...but i have to DO better in all areas of my life. And, for this journey...I'm ready. I'm excited. I'm at peace (for the first time in my life).

So, I can't promise that my journey that I share with you will be on the straight and narrow. I have to be me. But I do promise that it will be an open and transparent journey. I will share who I truly am because I believe in being yourself. I believe that my walk with God may at times, be the only Bible that some see...on my bad days, I cringe at the thought. Mostly because I know He's not done with me and I don't ever want someone to view me as hypocritical or judge me or wait to see me fail and fall. I don't want to be that Christian who you hear cuss and then say "Christians are hypocrites and bad people." But on my good days, I smile that I may be the only Bible that some have. That maybe, they see that God loves them for who they are, where they are and for what they are. He's more in love with you how you are today because He knows the plans He has for you. And those plans are never for failure but for hope and a future. (My fav verse Jeremiah 29:11).

So be patient with me. Understand that I am someone who hates to be vulnerable to anyone. I hate to make mistakes. I hate to feel that I'm inferior or have to rely on someone and not be able to get it myself. But know that I love learning about new things and people. Once I open up to you, I'm one of the most loving and caring people you can have on your side. I love being loyal and spending time with those who I love. I love to hear people laugh and smile. I love being that sign of hope for someone else. Know that I am not close to perfect but understand I want to do better in all areas of my life. And while I would love to do better in ALL areas all at once, it probably won't happen that way. So while you may believe that I haven't changed, it may be that I'm changing in another area...And maybe my change is none of your business or concern. The one I'm changing for KNOWS my areas of improvement and won't judge me.

You....

Oh...these thoughts I'm having. Quite unladylike yet so woman like.

Was it what you said or did? Or was it the sheer mind of my fantasy unveiling it's desires.

You. It's got to be you.

The way your cologne hugs your skin and leaves a trail so that I catch that scent just at the right time. You know that time right? That time when I've convinced myself I don't have to give into these intimate thoughts.

The way your arms are sculpted and are strong enough to hold me. Just wrap me in them and I can lay my head in that spot that was designed for me. Designed to give me that break from all the daily, non stop activities that require my attention. You know that spot....it's riiiiiight there in the crook of your neck between your neck and your shoulder....

And what about those hands? The way your hands carefully mold my body into your playground for your desire. You hold that power right there in your hand. I feel that your fingerprints are tattooed all over my body....leaving a trail of you....leaving a sign that shouts "Do not trespass...this is MY property." You hands can smooth away any tension...provide the security of feeling your grip tighten around me...provide the pleasure of tickling any spot you see is in need...provide that tender touch of lifting my chin up to your face to allow your lips to kiss my lips.

Oh, your lips? Oooooweeee, those lips...they have to be the sweetest taste. Your lips give me life. When you kiss me, I feel completely naked. But not in a shameful way. I feel elevated and exposed for your pleasure. That kiss....oh yes sir, that kiss is my choice of drug. It lingers on my lips as you playfully bite my lower lip. For some reason, when you kiss me, although you give me life, you take my breath away at the same time. I feel light-headed....I feel giddy. I feel your hands come to the small of my back and what I feel next is ecstasy. I feel my body tremble. I open my eyes to make sure I'm still here and then I see your eyes.

Your eyes have got to be the windows to your soul. Because in there, I see my value to you. I see the desire that you have to make sure I'm cherished and taken care of. Your eyes flutter open and clearly tell me that this is the only time I'm allowed to come up for air. I see your then show a hungry look of desire. You clearly have some fantasies that you'd like to see become a reality....and I want to ensure that happens.

But right now, I don't know how to get your attention as you hold the door and you are still a stranger. You see...these thoughts merely came from the brief contact of my fingertips grazing yours when you caught that door to hold it open as I walked through it. We're two strangers. Maybe we'll meet again. Maybe we won't. Maybe you'll be that man that I "let get away" because I was too naive to know....Maybe you'll make the first move to start me on your path to forever. If not........I'll just blush, smile and say "thank you for holding the door, sir" while wanting to say "you could also hold my heart if YOU asked."