Feeling tired? Overwhelmed? Over-stimulated? Confused? Keep reading...

I'm at a place where I feel tired, overwhelmed, over-stimulated and definitely confused. I decided a little while ago that I would finally put all my trust in God. Gasp....LOL, I've been saved for a while but I've been a control freak longer than I've been saved (insert smile). So I was one of those folks who gave God my laundry list at 11:45 pm and expected it done by 5:45 am the next day. I squeeze as much as Earthly possible in one day and at the end of the day/late very late night, I crash. I don't know how I've operated like this for so long but I've made it 29 years. I was considered the one who did things right, the one who was going somewhere, the one everyone was proud of. To push myself, I felt I "owed" it to everyone to not let them down. My mom jokingly referred me to as "Ms Perfect." If 5 friends were having 5 functions in one night, I was there. If I had to work 11 hours and then go to my son's school, I was there. If I needed to volunteer with something, did that. Whatever needed to be done, I did. Plain and simple. Kinda like your "go to" person. We need it done, need it done right and with a smile...hand it to Tiara.

Until recently............I feel like a juggler who's trying to juggle 6 things and you see them in the air. Then you see the look of panic on the juggler's face and now.....wait for it, wait for it.....here it comes crashing down.

I don't feel appreciated. I feel that if I'm not calling my friends or reaching out to them to make an effort, my phone doesn't ring. Before, I've chalked it up to "they're busy and they have a life." But the same could be said about me.

However, a recent incident with a few of my friends had me crying uncontrollably. I'm a giver...to a fault. You want something, I'll give it to you. And I know what it feels like to be alone. So if any of my friends need me, I'm there. I'd give anything for them to be happy. Don't ask me to change...b/c it probably won't happen. So, situation happens. I'm sitting here crying. Did I mention that I'm not the most emotional person. Like, I won't really hug you until I know and trust you? Side note - Trying to do better on that. So, as all this is going on, I have a friend that turns to me and asks what's going on. He said that he could understand me being upset but crying this uncontrollably is out of character for me and something has to be the root of it. I sat there and I realized that I felt so unappreciated..... personally, professionally, intimately. I felt like the atm...everyone is withdrawing but no one was making any deposits.

With all this being said (and yes, I took the long way), it's time that I start being my own motivator and encourager. It's time that I give up the control freak hat and rely on God. I have so many things in the making right now and I'm confused. I'm walking into a new season, one I've never been before. I want to make the right decision. I want the right path. I'm tired. Tired of doing it on my own. And I'd like peace.

I've said that I need God to physically speak to me! LOL, b/c this voice that everyone speaks of....yea, I don't really hear that soft whisper. Maybe b/c I'm talking. Maybe b/c I'm doing something I shouldn't. Either way, I don't hear it. So today I kept feeling anxious. Felt like I needed peace. I was going to go straight to bed b/c I just feel tired....drained. But I decided to get in the shower, hoping it'd clear my mind. I'm in there for a couple of mins and then Psalms 23 comes to mind. I'm like "weird..." but then I start saying "the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Whoa....maybe I can hear God.

Everything I'm dealing with is answered in the 23rd Psalm. I no longer have to worry about it. My needs will be met to where I don't want anymore. He's going to take care of me. He's going to allow me to have rest and restore my soul. I literally could have jumped up for joy.

I don't know what faith/religion you are. But this I do know, in this crazy, crazy world, we need that spiritual balance. We need to have faith and hope and believe in something bigger than us, our problems, and issues. If you're going thru something, I dare you to read Psalms 23. It's not long. I actually read about 5 different versions. I hope that it all works out for you. I hope that you find that peace that you're looking for. And if you're feeling kinda how I was feeling, please have faith and know it gets better. It may not start until next week, but if you've hit rock bottom, the only direction to go is up. Here are some different versions...I hope it helps :-)

Psalms 23 (New Living Translation)
1 The LORD is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the LORD
forever.


Psalms 23 (The Message version):
1 God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.2 You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.3 True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.
4 Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I'm not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd's crook makes me feel secure.
5 You serve me a six-course dinner right in front of my enemies. You revive my drooping head; my cup brims with blessing.
6 Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I'm back home in the house of God for the rest of my life.

Psalms 23 (New Kings James version):

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

Psalms 23 (Good News Translation)
1 The LORD is my shepherd;
I have everything I need.2 He lets me rest in fields of green grass
and leads me to quiet pools of fresh water.3 He gives me new strength.
He guides me in the right paths,
as he has promised.4 Even if I go through the deepest darkness,
I will not be afraid, LORD,
for you are with me.
Your shepherd's rod and staff protect me.5 You prepare a banquet for me,
where all my enemies can see me;
you welcome me as an honored guest
and fill my cup to the brim.6 I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life;
and your house will be my home as long as I live.

Psalms 23 (Amplified version)
1  THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.2  He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters. 3  He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name’s sake.4  Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.5  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.6  Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.