The Journey: Baby Step 2

So after the initial baby step 1 where you find that it's time to make a step, what's the next course of action? The 2nd step is probably the hardest step...DELETE....

LOL, no one wants to "delete". Delete is so permanent and requires discipline so we often try to skip over this step. We will try to hold onto familiar things in order to convince ourselves that we are happy, when in fact we are just the opposite of happy. Think about it....

If you're trying to get over an ex, you will more than likely still keep some type of memorabilia just to "remind" you of the good times. We've all done it. We've kept a picture, a shirt that he used to always wear, a souvenir that was a gift to us, his favorite cd, a sweet letter or email (from good times), a piece of jewelry...just something tangible and reminds us that it really did exists.

If you're trying to move forward in life financially and career-wise, you do the same. You keep a ratty old tshirt that reminded you of those hard times, a picture, an article, just something.

If you're trying to move on weight-wise, you keep something of your old lifestyle in your house. You may keep those fruit snacks (for just in case), a hidden box of little debbie's, your "BIG" shirt that reminds you of where you used to be.

So, no matter what area you are moving forward, you keep some tangible memory to remind you of where you were. Now, in some cases, that may be beneficial. However, let's think about it. When you were in English, you had to write a rough draft. In that rough draft, you made all types of corrections and formed new ideas. Then you had to type the final paper. When you typed the final draft, you typed over the rough draft and probably printed a copy of the rough draft and used the paper rough draft to help you as a guide. When you were done typing the final draft you hit "Save" and then threw the paper rough draft away. Think of life the same way.

In life, we need to know that it's okay to "delete" some things to move on...it's even necessary. I read an article where it was saying it's alot harder to get over your ex now because of all the social networking sites. I completely agree. Sometimes the phrase "out of sight, out of mind" works. Imagine that one person you were trying to get over. If you saw that person EVERY day, it'd bring up all the old hurts....AND old feelings of love. This would then cause you to be blinded by the bad times and suddenly want that person back b/c you're lonely. No other reason.

When you've made up in your mind that you're moving towards a better life, you need to delete those daily, sentimental reminders that keep you in the same mindset of the one you're moving on from. You don't need to keep your ex on your Facebook, twitter, email distribution list, and speed dial. Move on. Delete that space and make room for your future.

When it's time for that promotion and new career path, you don't have to keep that uniform from your Mickey D's job. Give it away. You need to now start shopping for your elevated position. How silly would it look to walk into a Wallstreet job wearing a McDonald's uniform?

You have to let go of all your past fears, hurts, complaints and regrets. You have to delete that ex-lover who hurt you more than you've ever experienced. You don't need to "keep in touch."  You don't need to be their friend. You don't have to see what's going on in their life...b/c if they wanted you in their life, you'd be in it. You don't have to continually put yourself out there for a "friend" who constantly takes. You do need to delete toxic people, thoughts and memorabilia from your life. You want better so you have to do better. It's not going to be easy. Matter of fact, permanently deleting people and things from your life is extremely hard. We tend to hold on to anything that once brought us happiness. But instead of living in the past, live in the present. You have to ask yourself this question: "Is this person/thing adding to my purpose or taking away from it?" Anything that doesn't add to your purpose and goals, is a distraction and it takes away from it.

So if you're trying to lose weight, those Little Debbie's take away from what you're trying to do. If you're trying to get over an ex, reading their daily posts about how great their life is with their new boo does nothing but hurt you. If you're trying to elevate yourself to a new life and get out of the negative environment, keeping those negative talking friends around is taking away from your goal.

You must learn to delete, move on and be disciplined. In order to get something you never had, you have to do something you've never done. You're going to have to sacrifice. And a "sacrifice" doesn't mean easy. There will be a lot of tears, frustration, discipline, awkward moments, hurt feelings, and self deprivation. However, that moment that you reach your goal...That moment you can see your ex and not have any feelings to be back with him/her or even want them, that moment you shed those 45 pounds, that moment you step into the career you want, will be a sweet taste of heaven. It'll be a feeling that you won't ever be able to articulate and in that moment you'll know that every heartache you had to delete added to your everlasting joy....

I'm sorry but that's how it works. YOU have to let go so God can bring you better. He can't put anything or anyone in your hand if you're busy holding on tightly to what you once had....

The Journey: Baby Step 1

I've decided to make some changes in my life. The following are my initial thoughts to all that I'm going thru.

It hurts...change hurts. Not always in a "this is so bad and I can't do this" way but in an uncomfortable shift. However, I think that once you get past these "growing pains", it then is exhilarating. It makes me kind of excited to think of what challenges and successes that I'm sure to overcome.

I've realized that I am my biggest critic and stumbling block. However, I'm refocusing and have decided that while I could be a critic and a stumbling block to myself, I'd much rather coach myself with guidance and positive growth. I'm determined not to be extremely hard on myself yet I will make sure that I don't get too comfortable and allow complacency.

Its time to close some doors on some things, people, habits, and thoughts. I've always tried to forgive and give people 2nd chances...and then 3rd, 4th, 5th and then usually by 25th time I'm ready to walk away. I'm always saying when people show you who they are (or when they tell you), believe them. They know themselves better than I ever will. Also, I need to understand that failure is not the end of the world. If I've tried to make something work and it doesn't work, time to rethink and discover some additional options.

Give more to myself...I feel that I'm a giver by nature. However, I've noticed that the last person I give to and even refuse to give to is myself. I am a woman, a mother, sister, cousin, niece, friend and if I don't take care of myself, then no one else will. It's time to love myself so much that I can give more to me. I've said "I can't be faithful to anyone until I'm faithful to myself...." I've thought about it. I can only do and give to others as much as I do for myself. 


I'm leaving the past behind. I won't allow past mistakes to condemn the rest of my life. It is what it is and it ain't what it ain't....nothing more, nothing less. I can't redo it, I'm just going to learn from it and avoid any further repeats of the past. 


I have to do what's best for me...and I'm just now realizing that I won't ever have the "perfect manual" to life that lays out perfect directions. I have to live life...not plan it down to every second. It's fine to set goals and plans but I have to be flexible. I have to also understand that God will get me where I want to go. But if I'm busy planning without Him, then I'm going to be continually in a state of stress and frustration. Time to live better and smarter....