The Journey: Baby Step 1

I've decided to make some changes in my life. The following are my initial thoughts to all that I'm going thru.

It hurts...change hurts. Not always in a "this is so bad and I can't do this" way but in an uncomfortable shift. However, I think that once you get past these "growing pains", it then is exhilarating. It makes me kind of excited to think of what challenges and successes that I'm sure to overcome.

I've realized that I am my biggest critic and stumbling block. However, I'm refocusing and have decided that while I could be a critic and a stumbling block to myself, I'd much rather coach myself with guidance and positive growth. I'm determined not to be extremely hard on myself yet I will make sure that I don't get too comfortable and allow complacency.

Its time to close some doors on some things, people, habits, and thoughts. I've always tried to forgive and give people 2nd chances...and then 3rd, 4th, 5th and then usually by 25th time I'm ready to walk away. I'm always saying when people show you who they are (or when they tell you), believe them. They know themselves better than I ever will. Also, I need to understand that failure is not the end of the world. If I've tried to make something work and it doesn't work, time to rethink and discover some additional options.

Give more to myself...I feel that I'm a giver by nature. However, I've noticed that the last person I give to and even refuse to give to is myself. I am a woman, a mother, sister, cousin, niece, friend and if I don't take care of myself, then no one else will. It's time to love myself so much that I can give more to me. I've said "I can't be faithful to anyone until I'm faithful to myself...." I've thought about it. I can only do and give to others as much as I do for myself. 


I'm leaving the past behind. I won't allow past mistakes to condemn the rest of my life. It is what it is and it ain't what it ain't....nothing more, nothing less. I can't redo it, I'm just going to learn from it and avoid any further repeats of the past. 


I have to do what's best for me...and I'm just now realizing that I won't ever have the "perfect manual" to life that lays out perfect directions. I have to live life...not plan it down to every second. It's fine to set goals and plans but I have to be flexible. I have to also understand that God will get me where I want to go. But if I'm busy planning without Him, then I'm going to be continually in a state of stress and frustration. Time to live better and smarter....