So as we get ready to enter the Easter holiday we are bombarded with beautiful egg designs. I remember the fun it was to dye the eggs. I've never been one to be artsy crafty (as I call it). However, something about seeing something beautiful inspires me (even though I may not be able to recreate it or duplicate it).
I'm not sure how everyone else was raised but I was raised Baptist. Let me show you what Easter was like growing up. You had to find that perfect Easter outfit. I wasn't ever a fan of pink so my grandma let me choose a soft blue. Then the night before Easter Sunday, we'd decorate eggs. I'd always have to be so careful because I hated making mistakes and I didn't want to spill the dye. So imagine my frustration when those eggs never came out as beautiful as I imagined. Then Easter Sunday I would put my Easter dress, some white gloves and get my little patent leather shoes on and grab my purse. Then off to church we'd go. We'd get through the Easter speeches and the church service. Then came the Easter egg hunt. The kids would take off, baskets flying behind them as they'd race to find a really pretty Easter egg or the plastic ones that had candy in them. Oh, the way the cool breeze would hit my face as perspiration beaded on my forehead. I was on a mission. I was on a search to find the most beautiful egg.....
We are alot like those children we see racing to get those Easter eggs. Whether it be professionally, personally or intimately. We are on the hunt. But for once have you stopped and asked "Am I what I'm looking for?" Ouch.
I am the type of person to make lists. I have a shopping list. I have a grocery list. I have a list of goals I want to reach. I have a list of books I'd like to read (whenever I find the time). I have a list of home decorating ideas. When I decided I wanted to buy a house, I had a list of things I'd like in that house. I even have a "list" of what I'd like in a partner...yes, I'm the "list queen". But then one day it hit me....Am I what I'm looking for? And when I asked myself that question, I had to be real and say no.
When I asked myself this question years ago, I wasn't what I was looking for. I was emotionally spent and bankrupt. I was in a bad place financially. My love tank and intimacy level was past bankrupt, it was actually negative. My attitude wasn't the best. And my faith....well, lets just say I believed in God but I wasn't activating my faith because I was too busy questioning him on why my life turned out the way it had.
So I knew that I had to make a choice: I could continue on the path I was on OR I could tap into what I really wanted out of life and start that journey. I chose the latter. I began to write what I wanted to see in my life. I began to speak what I wanted in life into existence. I also had a great support network. My friends were there for me. I changed my outlook on life and instead of me asking "Why me God?" I said "Why not me?"
Alot of us want the handsome, financially wealthy, sensitive yet masculine, cultured, business man who can go from the board room to the family room. He won't cheat on us and will treat us like a goddess and worship the ground we walk on. We want him to spend his waking moment adoring us and NEVER EVER EVER look at another woman. We want him to romance us and wine and dine us. We want him to upgrade us...we want "wife" stock with a man when we haven't even given him anything. We want all of this while we can talk crazy to him, yell we're independent, act a fool in public, and do our own thing. We want to live our life the way we want yet want him to make all these changes. Doesn't seem quite fair when we put it that way, now does it?
If you want a partner who is loving, are you what you're looking for? Do you speak in love? If you want to be forgiven, do you forgive? If you want someone to forget your shady past when you've changed, do you forget others' past or throw it in their face? If you want hard working employees, are you a hardworking employer/boss? If you want honest children, are you honest with them or do you break your promises?
There comes a time in your life when you have to ask yourself: Am I what I'm looking for? The time has come for me to ask myself that question again as a check up. And for once, I can say yes, I am what I'm looking for. I still have room to grow but I've worked on some areas. I can compromise. I can be flexible. I can be forgiving and loving. I am honest. I am loyal and dependable. So when I hear people tell me that my standards are too high, I shrug it off. I am what I'm looking for. How much simpler would life be if we all would be what we're looking for?
We want that beautiful egg that someone else designed yet we're just as fragile as a hard boiled egg....meaning our beauty is skin deep and fragile to where if the shell is cracked, we no longer possess the beauty or the worth we once thought we did. Whatever your standards are, whatever your requirements are, you should make sure that YOU can pass them before testing someone else....BE WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR...
Until next time....
Many Blessings,
Pretty Platinum Wings
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