Are you going or growing?

Are you going or growing?

I find that self reflection can be somewhat difficult. Let me explain. I’ve lived with myself for 29 years so to me, the way I do most things make sense to me. My best friend calls it “Tiara’s World Logic.” We laugh about it but one day I was like “it makes sense to me.” And it does.

The way we do things are often stemmed from a defense or growth mechanism. We either do things because it shields us and protects us from what we deem is harmful to our intimate, emotional, vulnerable self or because it makes us feel some sense of pride and accomplishment. Our method may not necessarily be the “right” way or the quickest, cheapest or even most logical way…but it’s OUR way.

But have you stopped lately to ask “Am I just going or am I growing?” That’s often a hard question if you’re anything like myself. I am always on the go. Matter of fact, I prefer to not only be on the go but to stay on the go. At least that was a HUGE part of my DNA…until I realized it was defense mechanism.

When I say “staying on the go” I mean helping others, planning/attending different functions, organizing something for friends/family….basically being everything to everyone and no one to myself. I stayed on the go for so long because it was easier to deal with other things than the areas that I’ve needed to grow. If one of my friends called with an issue, guess who put on their cape to be right there to save the day? If there were 72 hours in one weekend, guess who was up and about 60 plus hours? I was giving so much of myself to others that I didn’t realize that I wasn’t growing. Or maybe I did and just didn’t want to admit it.

I’ve never eaten at a restaurant alone. I’ve never watched a movie at a movie theater alone. There were times that if I didn’t have others surrounding me, I found another project to complete just so I wouldn’t have to do the 1^st one alone…Pretty sad, huh? Not really. I needed to do this. I am what you call a “giver.” I always want to include others and have a great time. And that behavior was appropriate for THAT SEASON.

I read a devotional where it was discussing if you’re going or growing. I was just going to keep reading and file it away but something about that question resounded in my spirit. Am I going? Well of course…but am I growing? Am I dealing with the same issues that I was dealing with last year? Ouch…well, some. Am I around the same negative people that I was last year? Nope! Whew, now I can say I’m growing, right? Nope, refer back to that first question.

It’s easy to remove some of the negative people. It’s probably best for you. However, when they are gone, you now need to deal with the common denominator…YOU. What areas did those negative people magnify? No truer words have been spoken than of “there is something that I see in him/her that I don’t like about me” when describing someone who is working your nerves or someone you dislike.

Maybe some of you are like me, by continuing to busy yourself so you don’t have to deal with your negative ways and grow into the person you’re called to be. Maybe some of you spend so much time on self reflection yet don’t activate your faith to walk and show the world the person you’d like to grow to be. Maybe some of you have grown but along that growth spurt picked up other negative habits. Whatever your defense mechanism is, you still have another opportunity to grow instead of just go. You don’t need to “wait to get yourself together” before you grow in the right direction. Start now, start today. You can grow in the dump that you are in.

You can make the decision to put aside those negative behaviors/attitudes and instead of staying in that “dump state of mind,” you grow in the dump, right where you are planted. You don’t have to get dolled up for God to position you. All He asks is that you come to Him as you are. Nothing more, nothing less. If you can believe Him and stand for what He stands for, then you can grow where you are planted….even if it is a dump. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you have to get yourself together to come to God. God will meet you right where you are but, you have to show up to the meeting. He wants to you to not just go but to grow into the person He’s created you to be. He wants you to live with passion and purpose and not just exist. But you have to agree to grow where you are. You have to be open to doing some things that you’d never thought you’d do. Maybe it’s letting go of a lover who isn’t for you. Maybe it’s kicking a bad habit. Maybe it’s changing your lifestyle. Maybe it’s sitting down and being still when you love to go. Maybe it’s a renewed mind. You have to come to the meeting so God can meet you there. If you do your part, He’ll do His. And let me tell you, He’s able to clean up a lot better than you could ever imagine. So go ahead and outgrow those things and people who are holding you back. Don’t be afraid to grow where you are planted in this season of your life. It’s THIS season that gets you ready for your next season!