5 critical survival lessons of life that Carole Gilbert taught her daughter Elizabeth...Definitely needed in this day and age!
1. Make the most of whatever you are dealt.
2. If you are given only one opportunity to speak, be certain your voice is heard.
3. Have a ball.
4. Perfect your character relentlessly. And most important—
5. If life gives you lemons, don't settle for simply making lemonade—make a glorious scene at a lemonade stand.
Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of the New York Times bestseller Eat, Pray, Love which was made into a movie starring Julia Roberts. Her second book, Committed, explores the bonds of love and marriage.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Happy. Hopeful. It is what it is.
Saw this post "I think im afraid to be happy because whenever you do get too happy, something bad always happens." and I could totally relate.
Now before you judge me or wonder what "terrible" thing could have happened to me, let me explain. I search for the good in people. I will give people the benefit of the doubt yet I'm extremely guarded and won't let anyone too close. It is a defense tactic I've perfected over the years.
I try to see the good in everything. Well, there seems to be a problem. While I'm busy searching for the good, the bad in a situation is still there. When I get my hopes up, reality has a nice way of crashing in on my happy party. So what do I do? I prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
In regards to intimate relationships, I've found that if it appears that it's going to go south, I will check out if the other party appears not to be engaged. I despise being the "fool" in any situation. So for me, I'll notice the change in behavior and I will mentally make plans to prepare myself for change. I believe this has saved me from acting a fool in some relationships. I detach myself and then compartmentalize by giving the other person the "benefit of the doubt" that maybe I wasn't the one for him. I've often wanted my partner in the past to work just as hard for me as I put in the relationship. And when I'm done, I'm done. Alot of my exes don't understand that. They think b/c they've had me once they'll have me again...Sadly mistaken. I have too much pride. However that pride has kept me from making stupid mistakes...yet as I look back, it's probably stopped me from living and allowing myself to "be in my feelings."
Happy...yes, happy is a destination I'd love to be for my entire life. However, I don't know if that's attainable. Now, Joy, joy would be a lifelong commitment. You can find joy in whatever you do...Happy is a state.
Would I love to have a committed, loving partner? Yes. Would I still love my freedom and space? Yes. Would I love someone to move at my pace? Yes. But I want it to be right. And judging from today's standards, that appears to be non-existent. The reason why I say that is everyone is soo fast paced. I'm guilty of it too though. When I see something I want, it becomes my main focus. I work my butt off to get where I want to be. There are alot of times that I don't get there but I get somewhere else....I've learned to thank God b/c it's clearly where I need to be.
But the more and more I think about it, if I was in a relationship, would I be ready for that commitment? I don't even know....I'd have to compromise. I'd have to commit to someone else besides my son and myself. I'd have to make life changes to include someone else. Is it as easy as some make it seem? But you know what I hate? Having something that appears real on the outside yet is fake on the inside. I've been told that I'm too honest. But I hate the games. I hate the "dating dance" where you meet each others' representative and then two step into the real person you are when feelings have already been established.
But are the people who appear happy on the outside but crying on the inside any closer to this special state of Happy? Think about it....they may. They have the partner/job/life and they are "faking it until they make it." What about us that can't find or don't have what we want and constantly roam in search of it?
So why is it hard to be "happy" when you fear the let down? Why doesn't our brain tell us that it'll be ok? Why don't we realize that the "hurt" is just as temporary as the "happy"? Whew....maybe if we realized that the "hurt" was just as temporary as the "happy" we'd hope more or focus on having a joyful life....Maybe....
Now before you judge me or wonder what "terrible" thing could have happened to me, let me explain. I search for the good in people. I will give people the benefit of the doubt yet I'm extremely guarded and won't let anyone too close. It is a defense tactic I've perfected over the years.
I try to see the good in everything. Well, there seems to be a problem. While I'm busy searching for the good, the bad in a situation is still there. When I get my hopes up, reality has a nice way of crashing in on my happy party. So what do I do? I prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
In regards to intimate relationships, I've found that if it appears that it's going to go south, I will check out if the other party appears not to be engaged. I despise being the "fool" in any situation. So for me, I'll notice the change in behavior and I will mentally make plans to prepare myself for change. I believe this has saved me from acting a fool in some relationships. I detach myself and then compartmentalize by giving the other person the "benefit of the doubt" that maybe I wasn't the one for him. I've often wanted my partner in the past to work just as hard for me as I put in the relationship. And when I'm done, I'm done. Alot of my exes don't understand that. They think b/c they've had me once they'll have me again...Sadly mistaken. I have too much pride. However that pride has kept me from making stupid mistakes...yet as I look back, it's probably stopped me from living and allowing myself to "be in my feelings."
Happy...yes, happy is a destination I'd love to be for my entire life. However, I don't know if that's attainable. Now, Joy, joy would be a lifelong commitment. You can find joy in whatever you do...Happy is a state.
Would I love to have a committed, loving partner? Yes. Would I still love my freedom and space? Yes. Would I love someone to move at my pace? Yes. But I want it to be right. And judging from today's standards, that appears to be non-existent. The reason why I say that is everyone is soo fast paced. I'm guilty of it too though. When I see something I want, it becomes my main focus. I work my butt off to get where I want to be. There are alot of times that I don't get there but I get somewhere else....I've learned to thank God b/c it's clearly where I need to be.
But the more and more I think about it, if I was in a relationship, would I be ready for that commitment? I don't even know....I'd have to compromise. I'd have to commit to someone else besides my son and myself. I'd have to make life changes to include someone else. Is it as easy as some make it seem? But you know what I hate? Having something that appears real on the outside yet is fake on the inside. I've been told that I'm too honest. But I hate the games. I hate the "dating dance" where you meet each others' representative and then two step into the real person you are when feelings have already been established.
But are the people who appear happy on the outside but crying on the inside any closer to this special state of Happy? Think about it....they may. They have the partner/job/life and they are "faking it until they make it." What about us that can't find or don't have what we want and constantly roam in search of it?
So why is it hard to be "happy" when you fear the let down? Why doesn't our brain tell us that it'll be ok? Why don't we realize that the "hurt" is just as temporary as the "happy"? Whew....maybe if we realized that the "hurt" was just as temporary as the "happy" we'd hope more or focus on having a joyful life....Maybe....
Monday, April 18, 2011
Own who you are...don't make excuses
Once again, my son has taught me a very important lesson of myself. I review his behavior report for the week and I see that he's been talking excessively. Talking so much that he's going to get moved.
I ask "Dash, what was so important that you've had to talk ALL week? Bc on Friday, you were talking alot."
He replies (rather quickly), "It wasn't me. The other kids were talking to me."
Pause...Does this child really think I'm a fool? Count to 5..."Dash, how do YOU get moved bc someone is talking to YOU?"
Dash replies, "I don't know but I do know that they were talking to me and I told them to be quiet."
What I've found out about myself is that I despise when someone consistently plays the victim card. I despise it so much so that I won't allow myself to be vulnerable. Although that could be a good thing, it's more of a bad thing.
It's extremely hard for me to be in a relationship b/c I won't allow myself to ever relax and be vulnerable. I'm on guard at all times. I'm always preparing for "what MAY happen" or what do in case the worst possible thing happens. Not healthy.
Another thing of mine is I'm a giver. You think that's a good thing you say? Yes, I agree...until you are so focused on others so that you don't have to focus on yourself. I consistently inconvenience myself to convenience others. I often feel guilty if I'm not doing something for someone. I've missed out on some extraordinary things b/c of my "self created obligation" to others.
Oh yes, and let's not forget that I'm the "Planner"...sounds great, huh? Yes, you know where I'm going with this. It could be a great thing IF I didn't plan everything down to the last detail. Who besides me has their entire life planned out? LOL and I would actually get pissed if it didn't go the way I planned it....FYI, it never has.
Here recently, I've had to take a long, hard look at myself. I recently asked a question on FB "I wonder how others really view me?" Thank God for good friends who confirmed alot of what I was feeling. Thank God for good friends that straight up told me "T, you don't have to be perfect, we'll love you no matter what. You need to loosen up, act out more on faith than worry. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. I've noticed you're your hardest critic. You are the only one in your way. You need to change your reality."
So for the past few weeks, God has allowed those who I love and respect to come to me in love and have these discussions. It wasn't too hard to take it in b/c I'd already been dealing with these thoughts....take that back....it was hard! LOL. I like to have my ish "together" and to find out that while I thought I was, it was clearly apparent to all who loved me, I didn't.
I don't think I'm a bad person nor do they. But I am a person...one who has room for improvement. So for the past few weeks, I've been trying to change my reality or my view on life. I've had to tell myself that I deserve all the good things that I tell others they deserve. I've given myself permission not to beat myself up when I make a mistake. I've given myself permission not to be perfect. I'm still working on the being vulnerable part. I'm very analytical, truthfully, I over analyze. So I've been trying not to over-analyze everything. I know that this one will probably take a little bit longer. The other thing I've realized is that even if I get some of these things down, there may be a time that I miss the mark. I believe that with time, I'll be able to shed these issues and move on. I know it won't be easy but it's worth it.
But it's not just worth it to me. It's worth it to my son. He needs to see that we have to own who we are yet not make excuses and work towards truly being better. I'd like for him to see me in a successful relationship. I'd like him to see me not worry and over-analyze everything. I'd like for him to see that I am a giving person but I know how to give to myself and take care of me. I want him to see me living life and not planning for emergencies that probably won't happen.
But most of all, I want me to see me do all of this. I want to know that I am as awesome as my friends think I am. Plus, I want that special someone to understand that I'm not pushing him away b/c of past issues. I don't want to run from who I am yet I want to walk in better shoes. When one of my friends told me to "change my reality", it struck a nerve. I can't be like my son and blame everyone for the hurt they've caused me. I can't blame past lovers, friends and family for the disappointments that they've caused me. I can't blame not having the security or stability I crave growing up for the over zealous person I am now. I can't blame what went wrong in the past for not letting me have what's right in my present and future. I can't beat myself up over mistakes that I've made and tell myself that I don't deserve something better. I can't continue it....matter of fact, I won't do it.
So yes, it's a little scary but it's a healthy fear. It's that fear mixed with the excitement of something new. So I've made up my mind. I'm going to live a little more and plan a little bit less, I'm going to be more open to love and being vulnerable to someone else. I'm going to trust more and let my guard down. I'm going to invest in the right people b/c if I do, then I won't have to deal with my current reality that everyone will hurt and disappoint you. I've decided to change my reality. I've decided that I deserve better and to quit being the person to hold myself back. I decided that I change my reality today...thru thought, actions and deeds. No more holding onto a past that isn't going to be the definition of my future.
Peace and Blessings,
Pretty Platinum Wings......
I ask "Dash, what was so important that you've had to talk ALL week? Bc on Friday, you were talking alot."
He replies (rather quickly), "It wasn't me. The other kids were talking to me."
Pause...Does this child really think I'm a fool? Count to 5..."Dash, how do YOU get moved bc someone is talking to YOU?"
Dash replies, "I don't know but I do know that they were talking to me and I told them to be quiet."
What I've found out about myself is that I despise when someone consistently plays the victim card. I despise it so much so that I won't allow myself to be vulnerable. Although that could be a good thing, it's more of a bad thing.
It's extremely hard for me to be in a relationship b/c I won't allow myself to ever relax and be vulnerable. I'm on guard at all times. I'm always preparing for "what MAY happen" or what do in case the worst possible thing happens. Not healthy.
Another thing of mine is I'm a giver. You think that's a good thing you say? Yes, I agree...until you are so focused on others so that you don't have to focus on yourself. I consistently inconvenience myself to convenience others. I often feel guilty if I'm not doing something for someone. I've missed out on some extraordinary things b/c of my "self created obligation" to others.
Oh yes, and let's not forget that I'm the "Planner"...sounds great, huh? Yes, you know where I'm going with this. It could be a great thing IF I didn't plan everything down to the last detail. Who besides me has their entire life planned out? LOL and I would actually get pissed if it didn't go the way I planned it....FYI, it never has.
Here recently, I've had to take a long, hard look at myself. I recently asked a question on FB "I wonder how others really view me?" Thank God for good friends who confirmed alot of what I was feeling. Thank God for good friends that straight up told me "T, you don't have to be perfect, we'll love you no matter what. You need to loosen up, act out more on faith than worry. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. I've noticed you're your hardest critic. You are the only one in your way. You need to change your reality."
So for the past few weeks, God has allowed those who I love and respect to come to me in love and have these discussions. It wasn't too hard to take it in b/c I'd already been dealing with these thoughts....take that back....it was hard! LOL. I like to have my ish "together" and to find out that while I thought I was, it was clearly apparent to all who loved me, I didn't.
I don't think I'm a bad person nor do they. But I am a person...one who has room for improvement. So for the past few weeks, I've been trying to change my reality or my view on life. I've had to tell myself that I deserve all the good things that I tell others they deserve. I've given myself permission not to beat myself up when I make a mistake. I've given myself permission not to be perfect. I'm still working on the being vulnerable part. I'm very analytical, truthfully, I over analyze. So I've been trying not to over-analyze everything. I know that this one will probably take a little bit longer. The other thing I've realized is that even if I get some of these things down, there may be a time that I miss the mark. I believe that with time, I'll be able to shed these issues and move on. I know it won't be easy but it's worth it.
But it's not just worth it to me. It's worth it to my son. He needs to see that we have to own who we are yet not make excuses and work towards truly being better. I'd like for him to see me in a successful relationship. I'd like him to see me not worry and over-analyze everything. I'd like for him to see that I am a giving person but I know how to give to myself and take care of me. I want him to see me living life and not planning for emergencies that probably won't happen.
But most of all, I want me to see me do all of this. I want to know that I am as awesome as my friends think I am. Plus, I want that special someone to understand that I'm not pushing him away b/c of past issues. I don't want to run from who I am yet I want to walk in better shoes. When one of my friends told me to "change my reality", it struck a nerve. I can't be like my son and blame everyone for the hurt they've caused me. I can't blame past lovers, friends and family for the disappointments that they've caused me. I can't blame not having the security or stability I crave growing up for the over zealous person I am now. I can't blame what went wrong in the past for not letting me have what's right in my present and future. I can't beat myself up over mistakes that I've made and tell myself that I don't deserve something better. I can't continue it....matter of fact, I won't do it.
So yes, it's a little scary but it's a healthy fear. It's that fear mixed with the excitement of something new. So I've made up my mind. I'm going to live a little more and plan a little bit less, I'm going to be more open to love and being vulnerable to someone else. I'm going to trust more and let my guard down. I'm going to invest in the right people b/c if I do, then I won't have to deal with my current reality that everyone will hurt and disappoint you. I've decided to change my reality. I've decided that I deserve better and to quit being the person to hold myself back. I decided that I change my reality today...thru thought, actions and deeds. No more holding onto a past that isn't going to be the definition of my future.
Peace and Blessings,
Pretty Platinum Wings......
Monday, April 11, 2011
He is...
He is that passion behind the purpose that fuels my fire. He is that fresh breath of air in a polluted and over-populated, bustlin' city. He is that comfort that I find when my mind is racing with anxiety. He is that strong arm used to hold me and shield me from the weight that I carry.
You see, he is that "Perfected List" of a man I've made. He is that cool sip of lemonade on a hot summer day. He knows how to touch me and when to touch me and where to touch me without even physically touching me. He is that man that believes I'm the supermodel with my hair wrapped late at night. He is that best friend who talks me through the highs and lows of my life.
He is that lover that I need and the one I've desired and wanted. He is that intimate dwelling. He brings forth love inside of me that I never knew could even reside in me. He makes me want to question how I could even love before. He is so loving and delicate with my feelings and heart yet so strong and passionate....He is that one who has that "whip appeal." The way he moans my name and touches my skin and sets it to flames...whew, that man right there....He is....
He is.....well, he is.....oh snap, he is....
He is the fragment of a sentence b/c I will never have a complete thought of what he is. You see if I had a complete thought, I'd box him into one thing and he's never just been one thing. He is a complete thought of something that I can't formulate at the time b/c for each time, he's been a something different bc what I need isn't going to be consistent. So he takes on that fragment sentence of "He Is..." You see, whatever I fill in the blanks, HE IS....
You see, he is that "Perfected List" of a man I've made. He is that cool sip of lemonade on a hot summer day. He knows how to touch me and when to touch me and where to touch me without even physically touching me. He is that man that believes I'm the supermodel with my hair wrapped late at night. He is that best friend who talks me through the highs and lows of my life.
He is that lover that I need and the one I've desired and wanted. He is that intimate dwelling. He brings forth love inside of me that I never knew could even reside in me. He makes me want to question how I could even love before. He is so loving and delicate with my feelings and heart yet so strong and passionate....He is that one who has that "whip appeal." The way he moans my name and touches my skin and sets it to flames...whew, that man right there....He is....
He is.....well, he is.....oh snap, he is....
He is the fragment of a sentence b/c I will never have a complete thought of what he is. You see if I had a complete thought, I'd box him into one thing and he's never just been one thing. He is a complete thought of something that I can't formulate at the time b/c for each time, he's been a something different bc what I need isn't going to be consistent. So he takes on that fragment sentence of "He Is..." You see, whatever I fill in the blanks, HE IS....
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Random TT things....
What is the point of blogging without being random? LOL, here are some random TT Things....
Randomness:
Even though it hasn't worked out for me, I believe in love and happy endings.
I never thought I'd be "ready" to be a parent yet looking back over the past 7 years of my son's life, that was the best time for me to become a mom.
I LOVE kids...I wanted to have alot of them until I had my son...Whew, they take alot of patience to actually PARENT not just have kids...Huge difference.
I enjoy being in relationships but I need for my man to change it up for me b/c I often get bored and lose interest.
I have trust issues....I'm working on them but it's often hard for me to trust that folks are doing the "right thing" by me. Even though I'm always doing the fair thing.
One of my best friends told me I was "too fair."
I love a man with class and who knows how to dress, smell good, and has a pretty smile.
I'd never be a good gold digger. My time is something I truly value. I don't care to pretend just so I can use someone for their money. Plus it comes back to you.
I've had my heart broken before...It hurt like hell and I thought I'd never survive. Guess what? I'm still here! And happy with where I am!
Even though I've been called a flirt, I don't just flirt with the intention of sleeping with someone. I often do it to make others feel good about themselves.
If you earn my trust and respect, I'm extremely loyal and will walk to the end of the Earth for you. But when I'm done, I'm done.
I'd like to say I'm spontaneous but I'm actually predictable but will change it up if I think you've figured me out.
I LOVE R&B, hunchin music, rap, hip hop, gospel, some country, even some rock music...I just LOVE music.
If a man gave me the security, love and intimacy I need and desire, I'd be completely faithful.
I'm often the encourager and motivator for others yet I'm completely hard on myself and often underestimate me. But I'm working on it.
I will write my personal feelings for a couple of reasons. 1. I'm not very comfortable being emotional. 2. I hate rejection and if I sense it when I'm talking, I'll shut up and won't ever share it. 3. I don't feel restricted or interrupted and can get my complete thoughts out.
I am the life of the party or Ms. Social Butterfly however in the last year, I've learned that I need my private time. I treasure my private and down time now and I've realized I don't have to go to every party/social event.
I'm usually on the go...like I will cram as much as possible into a 24 hr period.
I love social networking sites bc it allows us to keep in contact and interact with someone we don't normally see. HOWEVER, I'm extremely private about my love life and relationships. I've seen firsthand where social networking has caused a problem in relationships.
I'm often called spoiled however I do it with a smile and folks get something out of it so I don't disagree with their desire to spoil me.
I've had some very LOW days but nothing to ever regret it all since I've learned something from it all.
I enjoy sex. I have a high sex drive however I don't encourage sleeping around with a lot of people or having casual sex. I'm at a point in my life where it's quality over quantity. Also, I haven't had a STI and don't want to contract one so I'm very choosy about my lover and partner. In addition, I know men talk more than women and it's not very good to have your name in the streets like that.
I've learned you can't do everything with everyone.
I've learned that there is a difference in having sex, being intimate, and making love. Each have their appropriate time and place.
My son is motivation. I try to make sure that I live so that I won't have to disappoint him since he thinks I'm the best.
I get really excited....like if I'm interested in a guy, if I'm taking a trip, if I get some good news, if I'm having a great day...it doesn't matter.
I'm not a very affectionate person...unless your my son or my lover. I equate hugging with allowing people to be in my personal space and like I said above, I'm not very good with conveying my feelings. So if I hug you, consider yourself special.
I love to dance. I don't know what it is but when the beat moves me, I can't stop. I once went to 4 different parties in one night...I LOVE music.
Both of my birth parents have passed away. I have a step mom who has raised me and my brothers like her own kids. God knew what he was doing when he had my dad marry her....we needed a mom.
My brothers and sisters often forget we're technically "step" brothers/sisters...we were raised as brothers/sisters.
I'm a forgiving person and I choose not to judge others. I don't care what it is they've done....
You know where you stand with me. I'm not passive aggressive at all. I'm pretty honest but try to do it in the most diplomatic way.
If I get married again, I'm going to have a wedding...I didn't get one the first time around.
It used to bother me to say I'd been divorced. Then I realized who's damn business is it anyway. Even though it was hard, I'm glad that we didn't stay together for our son in a lifeless marriage or where we cheated on each other just to "stay together."
I've always been modest...even when I was in my best shape. I'm working on getting back there though.
I don't know if I'd get plastic surgery if I had the opportunity. Some days I say HECK YEAH...other days I'm like NOPE, you get what you see. We'll see on that one.
I don't make my new guy pay for what my old guy did. I think it's wrong and unfair to make someone pay for someone else's mistakes.
I never understood why people come out years later to tell me they had a crush on me. Speak up! If it's not the right time, it's just not the right time.
I believe that actions and words are needed to convey your point. Yes, actions speak loud however your words should back them up.
I LOVE to read.
I've told every dude I've dated that I'm complicated, difficult but you'll end up loving me. It's true. They've all jumped thru hoops to get me. However, some of those have ended not so great.
I am stubborn yet can be completely easy going. I'm stubborn about certain things that may or may not make sense to you.
I hate telling people exactly what to do. I like to know you've taken your time to learn me.
I'd like more kids but that probably won't happen.
My alter ego is a stripper/exotic dancer named Diamond. Started as a joke btwn one of my best friends and I however, I'm always known for doing some dance to some hunchin music.
Yes, I call baby making music "hunchin music." So what?
I believe that you don't have to be perfect to have a relationship with God. I also believe that believers shouldn't judge anyone. Its not your place. Your job is to spread the Word and bring more people to Christ. Not scare them away by being hypocritical and judging them.
I love to shop...not just for me, it could be for anyone.
I love being the center of attention in public.
I love my son's laughter.
I love being silly....a trait that I've obviously passed to my son.
I struggle with alot of things but I don't openly share them with others.
Sometimes I wish I could fast forward my life just to see how it ends up and then go back to the present just to live...I know I know...I need to have more faith. Working on exercising my faith.
I love to smile and laugh however if there is a picture, I'll only half smile and won't show my teeth.
I'm really self conscious about making sure my brows are always done. Like it's really serious.
Well, that's all I feel like sharing...TTYL
Randomness:
Even though it hasn't worked out for me, I believe in love and happy endings.
I never thought I'd be "ready" to be a parent yet looking back over the past 7 years of my son's life, that was the best time for me to become a mom.
I LOVE kids...I wanted to have alot of them until I had my son...Whew, they take alot of patience to actually PARENT not just have kids...Huge difference.
I enjoy being in relationships but I need for my man to change it up for me b/c I often get bored and lose interest.
I have trust issues....I'm working on them but it's often hard for me to trust that folks are doing the "right thing" by me. Even though I'm always doing the fair thing.
One of my best friends told me I was "too fair."
I love a man with class and who knows how to dress, smell good, and has a pretty smile.
I'd never be a good gold digger. My time is something I truly value. I don't care to pretend just so I can use someone for their money. Plus it comes back to you.
I've had my heart broken before...It hurt like hell and I thought I'd never survive. Guess what? I'm still here! And happy with where I am!
Even though I've been called a flirt, I don't just flirt with the intention of sleeping with someone. I often do it to make others feel good about themselves.
If you earn my trust and respect, I'm extremely loyal and will walk to the end of the Earth for you. But when I'm done, I'm done.
I'd like to say I'm spontaneous but I'm actually predictable but will change it up if I think you've figured me out.
I LOVE R&B, hunchin music, rap, hip hop, gospel, some country, even some rock music...I just LOVE music.
If a man gave me the security, love and intimacy I need and desire, I'd be completely faithful.
I'm often the encourager and motivator for others yet I'm completely hard on myself and often underestimate me. But I'm working on it.
I will write my personal feelings for a couple of reasons. 1. I'm not very comfortable being emotional. 2. I hate rejection and if I sense it when I'm talking, I'll shut up and won't ever share it. 3. I don't feel restricted or interrupted and can get my complete thoughts out.
I am the life of the party or Ms. Social Butterfly however in the last year, I've learned that I need my private time. I treasure my private and down time now and I've realized I don't have to go to every party/social event.
I'm usually on the go...like I will cram as much as possible into a 24 hr period.
I love social networking sites bc it allows us to keep in contact and interact with someone we don't normally see. HOWEVER, I'm extremely private about my love life and relationships. I've seen firsthand where social networking has caused a problem in relationships.
I'm often called spoiled however I do it with a smile and folks get something out of it so I don't disagree with their desire to spoil me.
I've had some very LOW days but nothing to ever regret it all since I've learned something from it all.
I enjoy sex. I have a high sex drive however I don't encourage sleeping around with a lot of people or having casual sex. I'm at a point in my life where it's quality over quantity. Also, I haven't had a STI and don't want to contract one so I'm very choosy about my lover and partner. In addition, I know men talk more than women and it's not very good to have your name in the streets like that.
I've learned you can't do everything with everyone.
I've learned that there is a difference in having sex, being intimate, and making love. Each have their appropriate time and place.
My son is motivation. I try to make sure that I live so that I won't have to disappoint him since he thinks I'm the best.
I get really excited....like if I'm interested in a guy, if I'm taking a trip, if I get some good news, if I'm having a great day...it doesn't matter.
I'm not a very affectionate person...unless your my son or my lover. I equate hugging with allowing people to be in my personal space and like I said above, I'm not very good with conveying my feelings. So if I hug you, consider yourself special.
I love to dance. I don't know what it is but when the beat moves me, I can't stop. I once went to 4 different parties in one night...I LOVE music.
Both of my birth parents have passed away. I have a step mom who has raised me and my brothers like her own kids. God knew what he was doing when he had my dad marry her....we needed a mom.
My brothers and sisters often forget we're technically "step" brothers/sisters...we were raised as brothers/sisters.
I'm a forgiving person and I choose not to judge others. I don't care what it is they've done....
You know where you stand with me. I'm not passive aggressive at all. I'm pretty honest but try to do it in the most diplomatic way.
If I get married again, I'm going to have a wedding...I didn't get one the first time around.
It used to bother me to say I'd been divorced. Then I realized who's damn business is it anyway. Even though it was hard, I'm glad that we didn't stay together for our son in a lifeless marriage or where we cheated on each other just to "stay together."
I've always been modest...even when I was in my best shape. I'm working on getting back there though.
I don't know if I'd get plastic surgery if I had the opportunity. Some days I say HECK YEAH...other days I'm like NOPE, you get what you see. We'll see on that one.
I don't make my new guy pay for what my old guy did. I think it's wrong and unfair to make someone pay for someone else's mistakes.
I never understood why people come out years later to tell me they had a crush on me. Speak up! If it's not the right time, it's just not the right time.
I believe that actions and words are needed to convey your point. Yes, actions speak loud however your words should back them up.
I LOVE to read.
I've told every dude I've dated that I'm complicated, difficult but you'll end up loving me. It's true. They've all jumped thru hoops to get me. However, some of those have ended not so great.
I am stubborn yet can be completely easy going. I'm stubborn about certain things that may or may not make sense to you.
I hate telling people exactly what to do. I like to know you've taken your time to learn me.
I'd like more kids but that probably won't happen.
My alter ego is a stripper/exotic dancer named Diamond. Started as a joke btwn one of my best friends and I however, I'm always known for doing some dance to some hunchin music.
Yes, I call baby making music "hunchin music." So what?
I believe that you don't have to be perfect to have a relationship with God. I also believe that believers shouldn't judge anyone. Its not your place. Your job is to spread the Word and bring more people to Christ. Not scare them away by being hypocritical and judging them.
I love to shop...not just for me, it could be for anyone.
I love being the center of attention in public.
I love my son's laughter.
I love being silly....a trait that I've obviously passed to my son.
I struggle with alot of things but I don't openly share them with others.
Sometimes I wish I could fast forward my life just to see how it ends up and then go back to the present just to live...I know I know...I need to have more faith. Working on exercising my faith.
I love to smile and laugh however if there is a picture, I'll only half smile and won't show my teeth.
I'm really self conscious about making sure my brows are always done. Like it's really serious.
Well, that's all I feel like sharing...TTYL
Friday, April 1, 2011
I want to be like you.....son
So has anyone else felt like they don't have enough hours in the day? Whew....glad I'm not alone. ;-)
I recently gave myself the challenge of reading the Bible in a year. Yea....about that. I've slacked off at times. Lets see....there was a day that I just wasn't in the mood. Then there was another day where I'd overslept, almost late for work, my son was moving slow and when I got home from my busy day "I didn't feel like it." Then once I started to miss, it became habit to miss reading.
The same time I was missing my daily reading and meditation, my son started acting up at school. We had an entire week where I thought he'd lost his ever loving mind. I corrected the behavior, explained it was not acceptable in this house and gave him positive reinforcement of "behavior goals" to which he's been doing great. Problem solved right? Nope...by this time I was used to missing the devotional time to where it was now an "inconvenience" to set aside some time to read and meditate.
Then yesterday I realized something. My son's behavior has been excellent. He's been consistent. He's even been asking to read his Bible every night. OUCH. Here I am the parent and I've been slacking and he's been striving. Then it hit me.
God wants us to have a child like disposition. For those who don't have kids, let me break it down. When you have a determined child (as I do), he/she will stop short of NOTHING to get what they want. They will disobey parent's rules to get what they've set their heart on. My child may not even be able to understand all of the concepts of the Bible yet he's made it a daily requirement to read it. He may not understand why he has to get smiley faces every day at school, yet he's made it his mission to succeed. He's done what he needed to do to get to where he needed to be.
Here I am watching this child and I realized, I want to be like my son. There was once a time I was so driven and ambitious. Here lately, I've been busy to where I haven't been seeing projects completely through. So instead of complaining, I'm cutting back. And yes, I got that idea from my son.
The other day he went to an OKC Thunder game. We stayed up pretty late (his bed time is 8:30-9:30) where we were up past 10. The next morning he woke up at 5 am, which is 2 hrs before he needs to be up. When we got home from school that day, his neighborhood friends ran to the car because they wanted to play with him. My son took one look around and told his friends "Sorry guys but I'm tired and I'm going to sleep. Can't play today." My son is 7 years old. So to him, playing with his two best friends is a daily must. I thought, surely he'll change his mind when he gets into the house. Nope. That child laid across his bed and slept for 2 hrs.
Wow....And I can't even say no to a daily glance of Facebook or Twitter or my email or a conversation. At this moment, I've learned that I need to realign and re-prioritize my life. I'm thankful for where God has brought me and doors he's opened. But if you were to look at my actions, would they show that? Why be so quick to face another day that you don't even mutter "Thank you Lord for this day"? Why be so negative that you yell "I'm never going to get ahead" when God has opened doors for you and is working on plan to elevate you?
I believe that God will show us ourselves through children sometimes. Yes, I want to be just like my son. He didn't dwell on the mistakes he made when he had a bad week. He changed his behavior to match meeting his goal. He's learned how to prioritize and to rest when he needs to. If a 7 year old child can do it, why can't I? Sounds like I need to get it together!
Many Blessings
Pretty Platinum Wings
I recently gave myself the challenge of reading the Bible in a year. Yea....about that. I've slacked off at times. Lets see....there was a day that I just wasn't in the mood. Then there was another day where I'd overslept, almost late for work, my son was moving slow and when I got home from my busy day "I didn't feel like it." Then once I started to miss, it became habit to miss reading.
The same time I was missing my daily reading and meditation, my son started acting up at school. We had an entire week where I thought he'd lost his ever loving mind. I corrected the behavior, explained it was not acceptable in this house and gave him positive reinforcement of "behavior goals" to which he's been doing great. Problem solved right? Nope...by this time I was used to missing the devotional time to where it was now an "inconvenience" to set aside some time to read and meditate.
Then yesterday I realized something. My son's behavior has been excellent. He's been consistent. He's even been asking to read his Bible every night. OUCH. Here I am the parent and I've been slacking and he's been striving. Then it hit me.
God wants us to have a child like disposition. For those who don't have kids, let me break it down. When you have a determined child (as I do), he/she will stop short of NOTHING to get what they want. They will disobey parent's rules to get what they've set their heart on. My child may not even be able to understand all of the concepts of the Bible yet he's made it a daily requirement to read it. He may not understand why he has to get smiley faces every day at school, yet he's made it his mission to succeed. He's done what he needed to do to get to where he needed to be.
Here I am watching this child and I realized, I want to be like my son. There was once a time I was so driven and ambitious. Here lately, I've been busy to where I haven't been seeing projects completely through. So instead of complaining, I'm cutting back. And yes, I got that idea from my son.
The other day he went to an OKC Thunder game. We stayed up pretty late (his bed time is 8:30-9:30) where we were up past 10. The next morning he woke up at 5 am, which is 2 hrs before he needs to be up. When we got home from school that day, his neighborhood friends ran to the car because they wanted to play with him. My son took one look around and told his friends "Sorry guys but I'm tired and I'm going to sleep. Can't play today." My son is 7 years old. So to him, playing with his two best friends is a daily must. I thought, surely he'll change his mind when he gets into the house. Nope. That child laid across his bed and slept for 2 hrs.
Wow....And I can't even say no to a daily glance of Facebook or Twitter or my email or a conversation. At this moment, I've learned that I need to realign and re-prioritize my life. I'm thankful for where God has brought me and doors he's opened. But if you were to look at my actions, would they show that? Why be so quick to face another day that you don't even mutter "Thank you Lord for this day"? Why be so negative that you yell "I'm never going to get ahead" when God has opened doors for you and is working on plan to elevate you?
I believe that God will show us ourselves through children sometimes. Yes, I want to be just like my son. He didn't dwell on the mistakes he made when he had a bad week. He changed his behavior to match meeting his goal. He's learned how to prioritize and to rest when he needs to. If a 7 year old child can do it, why can't I? Sounds like I need to get it together!
Many Blessings
Pretty Platinum Wings
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